Conversare – reflections and projections

C

This is about a novel way of connecting among participants in a particular form of socialising. Which is entitled  ‘Conversare’  from the Latin con versare – to turn or to dance together.

Its essence is an experience of listening with interest and full attention to how somebody else sees life.  This happens when pairs of participants engage in conversation while sharing a meal with someone not met before, a stranger. Which is a particular form of something at the core of human culture, viz hospitality.

Note: There’s more to come later about the importance of listening as integral to respectful relating and about rapidly rising recognition of this, worldwide.

(Disclaimer: While you may sense that this post is ‘lengthy’ you may come to appreciate that there are valid reasons for this.

Perhaps the main one being its subject matter, conversation. Which, according to Buckminster (Bucky) Fuller, “Is the greatest of the arts”.

With this in mind you may also appreciate:

“Great art cannot be taken in at a glance.” I A Richards.  <smile>

Do you appreciate that this applies to my other blog posts too? <another smile>)

I invented the process while living in Hong Kong for six happy years from 2005. Many English speaking locals and expats came along. Some time and again, for they found it to be so interesting and enjoyable. 

Since returning to Adelaide I have held these events in a city-based pub and in the Adelaide Central Market. Starting several years and ongoing. There have also been in events in London, UK and in two places in the US.

For an insight into the nature of the process see Conversare in America.  For particular underpinnings see Awe of conversation  and Conversare – a remarkable opportunity to meet strangers in a way that adds sparkle to life.

For the joy of reconnecting with old friends see Conversare in Hong Kong revisited

And for a comment of an authority on similar matters:

“Very interesting work, Alan!  I think you’re right that the timing is spot-on for Americans to have more semi-structured interpersonal conversations that aren’t necessarily political in nature.  It reminds me a little of Skip the Small Talk (happening here in Cambridge and now moving to NYC) and other home-grown dialogue efforts that are meant to help people talk to strangers and build relationships.”
Sandy Heierbacher
Founding Director, National Coalition for Dialogue & Deliberation
sandy@ncdd.org • www.ncdd.org • @ncdd & @heierbacher

Recently the realization is dawning in my mind and in those of my associates that there is more to this kind of socialising than meets the eye.  See below.

Firstly a brief review About Conversare

For starters, this new kind of social events may be considered from at least two levels of description.

One is:

Conversare: It is a capacity-building space, inviting reciprocal and inclusive community building, free of boundaries such as religion, tradition and cultural issues = a creative gift to a feted multicultural space! To deepen relationships and in the spirit of hospitality.

The other:

Conversare events are social gatherings in public places in which whoever registers to come along is welcome. To participate in conversations which are friendly, fun and totally non-threatening.  Everyone engages in good talk, mainly in pairs over a meal and also with others before and after the mealtime. 

To add:

You don’t need to know anyone at an event for the host and those already there will help you feel welcome and included.

Nothing is expected of you other than to be present and to enjoy yourself. Likely you will feel that everybody in the room are people you would like to meet and talk to.

This is not networking in the usual sense as it is not to conduct business. You may not ever see your dinner partner or the others again. If you do you will have delightful memories to share. Part of the pleasure is to meet with people from different backgrounds, ages, nationalities, first languages to talk about things which may be very different from your everyday life.

What could it lead to? At least, an enjoyable and interesting encounter. Plus hearing of lived experiences which you could not have imagined. And very likely having new insights into your own life.

Do both of these descriptions sound like just what you could be looking for?

Principles and process

A skilled host outlines the underlying principles and core of the process:

. The name  Conversare and its underpinnings

. Whoever comes are the right people.

. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have.

. We are here to give not to get through being interested in how each other sees life.

. Pay close attention to your dinner partner, mainly by listening carefully.

. When you speak do so in the context of what you are hearing rather than trying to impress or to persuade.

The host also outlines the procedure:

. Select your meal and then find someone you don’t know with whom to share the mealtime together.

. engage with each other on topics such as ‘What attracts you to be here?  What are some of your main interests?  What gives you joy in life?  What pains you?

.  your mealtime conversation will go for at least an hour and likely more.

After which there is the opportunity to share observations/reflections with the others.

If this novel and wholesome way of engaging with each other touches something in you …

You may wish to learn about what it is, how it came into being, what participants in diverse places have reported on their experience of being a participant. And about its potential significance in wider spheres. These elements can be seen in my blog  www.conversare.net  And particularly in Conversare – what it is  and in  Conversare – places and process.  Also in Feedback of participants

Looking to the future

For some earlier ‘musing’ on this see here.

Recently the realization is dawning in my mind and in those of my associates that there is more to this kind of socialising than earlier considered. For we have come to appreciate that there could be great benefits to organisations of many kinds from introducing Conversare style events into their underpinning cultures. Rather than just ‘drinks on a Friday night’.

This realization stems from much witnessing the liveliness of spirit which pervades in events for the public and from the feedback of participants.

Also from ‘rediscovering’ the seminal book by Harrison Owen (inventer of Open Space Technology) entitled The Power of Spirit’. Subtitled How Organizations Reform. Berrett-Koehler Publishers. 2000. In which he outlines “As spirit forms and transforms in people they become strong, focused, and vibrant – and wonderful things can happen.”

Could this also happen if Conversare kind of engaging with each other becomes integral to THE SPIRIT underlying the functioning of organizations of diverse kinds? Among which are business, civic, educational and community enterprises. Put another way, could this be another means by which organizations transform?

I wonder if you see this?

I wonder too if you sense that Conversare style gatherings could be of value in releasing spirit in public and other contexts in which you feel this is not happening.

If such queries resonate with you please feel welcome to share your feelings, and perhaps pose your questions, through Contact.

Looking forward

Al  

Al (formerly Alan) Stewart, PhD
Process Artist
Facilitator of conversations that matter and participatory fun

Blog:  www.conversare.net
Member: National Trouble Makers Union <smile>

Residence: Adelaide, South Australia, since 1975
With time away in the USA (1981) and Hong Kong (2005-2011)  

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“Whenever we treat each other well good things happen.”
Al Stewart

Be yourself. And be it well.