Conversare – renewing the age old practice of ‘breaking bread’ together in social gatherings
Would you go along with the idea that in these times – with much uncertainty now being experienced widely around our little planet – it is high time to get together in ways based on mutual respect for each other?
And do you have an inkling that the age-old custom of ‘breaking bread together’ among strangers is a way of doing this?
Given these ‘opening queries’, I have a request for help from you. See below.
Firstly, a brief review of this renewed way of connecting with others
Conversare (pronounced conversary) named from the Latin con versare: to turn or to dance together is a process of a meeting in which ‘breaking bread’ happens. In practice, this means engaging in conversation with a stranger 1:1 over a meal to explore their common humanity.
For an insight into what takes place see: https://conversare.net/introducing-Conversare/
This form of being together was ‘born’ somewhat unexpectedly in Hong Kong in 2009. To a substantial ’round of applause’. <smile>
With among the many comments on their experience from participants there and elsewhere, here are some which may be regarded as being ‘seminal’:
“great concept indeed … think you just hit it right at bull’s eyes … long wished for in the recess of our minds but not quite realized or voiced! great going … !”
Velda Kwan (Hong Kong)
“Conversare in my experience is simple and deep, a spiritual adventure”.
Firti Rasmita (West Sumatra)
“In these times of rapid change, simply connecting people for distraction-less conversation is profoundly impactful.
Conversare provides an exceptionally simple approach for the return to glory of community trust and connectivity.
For me, I arrived not knowing what to expect and I left feeling connected and supported by good people and great conversation.”
John Hovell (London, UK)
And
http://conversare.net/conversare-in-america/ for two events held there – in less turbulent times – in 2013.
Also
A well-presented (in my opinion) case by Kio Stark for the value and benefits of talking with strangers
With the arrival of the ‘pandemic lockups’ and the ever-increasing use of online connecting I had the thought of having this way of being together made available online. And had taken steps to bring this about.
Which may well happen in the not too distant future.
For the near future, though, I have in mind to contact community-based organisations to put the idea that having a Conversare component in some of their F2F meetings could bring substantial benefits.
Those of you who have been following the evolving story of this novel way of socialising would likely readily appreciate what these could be. Essentially to come to know that meeting new people is actually not all that difficult, albeit many people feel that it is. And that there can be substantial ‘ongoing outcomes’ from becoming more confident in doing this consciously. Among which are coming to learn and appreciate why people have particular views – and associated practices – in making sense of their lives. And in coming to better understand why we, personally have particular ways – often limiting – of interacting with others.
Given that for many of us we have had no training in conversational skills. Starting with the basics of listening with attention and being aware of the emotional underpinnings of what is being said. In all my formal education from primary to tertiary I have no recall of ever being taught – or even made aware of – of such skills and associated practices in my school and university days.
Is it your feeling and experience that few people are careful and considerate conversationalists?
And do you notice that few people go out of their way to make contact with strangers?
In Conversare events attention is drawn by the host to the ways of relating well to the one person who is their mealtime partner; whoever this happens to be.
My query/request for help
What kind of community-based organisations, which gather regularly in particular places, do you consider would welcome an opportunity to hear about the likely benefits of having a Conversare kind of component periodically in their meetings?
I would greatly appreciate your sending you thoughts on this to me at alanmstewart@gmail.com And on anything else in this post about which you would wish to comment and/or seek clarification.
Looking forward
Al
Al (formerly Alan) Stewart, PhD
Process Artist
Facilitator/host of conversations that matter and participatory fun
Senior Fulbright Scholar
Blog: www.conversare.net
“We are in this together to treat each other well.
Whenever we do this good things happen.”
Al Stewart
*PS Here’s something you may see as ‘illuminating and helpful’:
“Most of us have a strong belief about our own species. Human beings are fundamentally selfish and greedy. I mean it’s obvious isn’t it? Just watch the news and see how our politicians and business leaders behave. Selfishness and greed are, unfortunately, what human beings are all about.
But weirdly the science tells us nothing of the kind. Study after study, experiment after experiments tells as that while we have some selfishness in us these are not our dominant values.
In the great majority of people empathy, kindness, community spirit are all stronger values.”
From the British journalist and writer, George Monbiot. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05zwvbg
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