Conversare – for you to consider ways and means of relating well to each other that matter
And to ponder how your life could be different if you took note of – and put into practice – ideas here which attract your attention …
Also the lives of people for whom you have a sense of responsibility to support and encourage.
The curse ‘May you live in interesting times’ is in evidence in these modern times in our own lives and in what we see and notice in diverse – particularly ‘social’- media. Not so?
Two features of this which come frequently to widespread notice are reports of increasing levels of loneliness being reported by health professionals. And of people not talking to each other – except those they already know – about ‘things that matter’.
A person who lives near to me wrote recently:
“But it appears that, apart from a few, there is no interest in ‘community’. We would all like a more friendly community, but, to be frank, nobody goes out of their way to achieve it. We have become, as a society, so insular we seem to have lost our ability to talk to anybody we don’t know. Oblivious to anyone other than our nearest and dearest. Nobody really cares about anyone but themselves. It’s a shame because life could be so much nicer just by taking the time to say “hello”. It’s not hard, but then again perhaps it is.” Steve B
And while this person has arranged periodic gatherings of people in this neighbourhood they lack – in my opinion – two basic components for satisfactory outcomes for participants.
Which are:
. a means/context to engage in-depth with people who have not met previously.
. a person to act as the host in setting the scene for this to happen.
This is where a Conversare style event could have particular value. And be a source of much pleasure for those who long to feel more connected to people outside of their own personal – and perhaps inside their workplace – circles.
For, as you may see in“Conversare” -what is it (above) these are social gatherings in public places in which anyone who wishes to come and join is welcome. Note: These events are not currently being held in the place they have been, in Adelaide, until recently.
To have a pleasurable – and often reported ‘memorable’ – conversation in depth with a like-minded stranger.
In the hands of a host who is skilled in setting the context for everyone present to feel welcome. And willing to give of themselves in conversation, over a meal, with someone they have not met previously. Everybody in the room does this, everyone is a full participant.
Sounds challenging? In a sense it is as in the way we live now there are few opportunities for us to act on in talking in-depth with a stranger.
Along the lines of ‘Who are you’? ‘What brings you joy in life’? ‘What brings you sadness’? Essentially to explore our experience of our common humanity, with mutual respect and minimal judgment.
In Conversare events the purpose is to have an in-depth encounter with a fellow human being, no matter who this happens to be. Purely to explore their respective backgrounds, experience and interests. From which often emerges the realisation that no matter how widely different are your histories, you have a lot in common.
The name Conversare – meaning ‘to turn or to dance together’ – emerged from when I started to arrange and host this kind of social event while I was living happily in Hong Kong for six years until returning to Adelaide in Australia in 2011.
But prior to this naming, I was exploring with a great friend in Sydney the idea of calling the events ‘Conversing Café’. Which prompted him to compose this lovely song, here recorded by him and another fine friend.
http://www.biosong.org/The%20Conversing%20Cafe.mp3
Having settled on the name ‘Conversare’ from its Latin origins (con versare – ‘to turn or to dance together’ a young person, on hearing this, exclaimed: “It sends a shiver down my spine.”
Conversare events, beginning in Hong Kong in 2009, held frequently there now also in many other parts of the world.
One in Padang in West Sumatra, Indonesia, led to a participant reporting:
“What I experienced is ‘Simple and deep, a spiritual adventure’.”
A participant in an event on a hot night in London, England noted:
“Imagine having dinner with a complete stranger not just to chat but to fully engage with this person in a respectful, meaningful conversation and to learn about and understand him/her in-depth. This is the essence of a Conversare event that I recently experienced in London.
It’s a simple process that works so well. Everybody present is fully engaged in this way. We need more contexts in which all who wish can participate in conversations that matter.”
David Gurteen, Founder – Gurteen Knowlege Community
For lively accounts of two events in the US see:
http://conversare.net/conversare-in-america/
To conclude, for now. There is – to me and others in my social circle – a lovely movie just come to local cinemas. This is ‘A beautiful day in the neighborhood’ In which Tom Hanks plays Mr Rogers. 🙂
You may gain a sense of the key underpinning idea from viewing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbxl97_27rQ
From 7.55 to 8.16 minutes
“Let everybody know that we have value in this life. And that each one of us is precious.”
And
“I think the best thing we can do is to let people know that each one of them is precious.”
In a similar vein to what you may have noticed above ‘connecting with strangers and why this matters’ see this recent post by the renowned commentator on today’s major social concerns, Brene Brown.
Here’s hoping that what comes to your attention in this post ‘rattles your cockles’ (smile). Or at least gives you pause to consider about focusing on ‘the human element’ in regard to how we address the complex challenges we face in creating a positive future for our young(er) successors, human and other living creatures, on our tiny, fragile planet, 3rd from the sun.
Looking forward
Al
Al (formerly Alan) Stewart, PhD
Process Artist
Facilitator of conversations that matter and participatory fun
Senior Fulbright Scholar
Blog: www.conversare.net
Member: American Society for Cybernetics
Member: National Trouble Makers Union <smile>
Residence: Adelaide, South Australia, since 1975
With time away in the USA (1981) and Hong Kong (2005-2011)
_________________________________
“We are in this together to treat each other well.
Whenever we treat each other well good things happen.”
Al Stewart
Recent Comments