Participate through thoughtful interest, questioning and listening with someone you don’t know
As we enter the new year there are likely to be enjoyable and exhilarating experiences awaiting those who have opportunity to participate in a Conversare event.
Which could happen well beyond the confines of Australia, indeed also in the USA and the UK, for starters. And also in a range of new contexts. * (See below).
With three premises in mind:
. Such events coming to be seen increasingly as a novel and valuable demonstration of what to participate can mean in practice.
In this instance meaning engaging well among people who do not know each other purely to see the world – at least a snapshot of it – through someone else’s eyes.
For having a conversation with a stranger, in a congenial setting which may include having a meal together, enables such an opportunity. Especially when those present recognise that the chance to converse in pairs is a unique gift. And that this time spent together will not ever be experienced in precisely the same way again.
. Here is a remarkable opportunity to put all judgment aside, of one’s self or of ‘the other’. To be thoughtfully interested in the other person. To actually care about this person no matter who he or she may be.
Knowing that this is the ‘right person’ with whom to engage at this time. Being aware too that, while you may not ever meet again, if you do you will have a firm foundation on which to reconnect.
. All that is asked of you is that you do two complementary things which add to the mutual delight and satisfaction of the encounter:
Ask good questions and listen carefully.
For those who wish to go deeper into how and why to do this have a look at:
The One Conversational Tool That Will Make You Better At Absolutely Everything
(Albeit that this article is focused on self advancement).
Bearing in mind that:
Questions are the creative acts of intelligence.
Frank Kingdon
And that:
When you do ask questions you learn about the person with whom you are conversing – and about yourself.
Knowing intuitively too that:
Who you are determines what questions you will ask. This, naturally, means that you don’t ask deeply personal questions of someone you have just met. What it may mean is that you ask the questions which enable your partner to reveal elements of themselves which they would wish to share. Perhaps to relate why they came along to the event, what they find particularly enjoyable about socialising and/or what gives them anxiety about meeting new people.
With this for starters you will likely to be off and running! Once this happens what could open up? Insights into experiencing and ways of seeing the world that you could not have imagined? Even more of the wonder in which we live!?
Here are two comments on their experience of being a participant:
“I must admit I approached conversare with some trepidation as i am not the touchy feely type and I wasn’t sure what or who to expect but i thoroughly enjoyed myself. The ambiance was warm and friendly, totally non threatening. I didn’t feel anything was expected of me other to than to be there and enjoy myself. All the people there were people I wanted to meet and talk to and it was so interesting sitting with someone completely new, who led a totally different life style [in Hong Kong].”
Annemarie Bailey
“I generally avoid cocktail parties and similar occasions because the conversation is usually so trivial and shallow that I don’t feel motivated to participate. At Conversare functions, my energy and wish to connect with people and to contribute just flowed without effort.”
Ian Robertson
I wonder how enticing this sounds to you? And necessary if we take these words to heart?:
“Participation is the key to the future of the human race. Participation in families, in politics … Participation will save the human race – if we are saved.”
Pete Seeger at aged 89
Go well
Alan Stewart
Social Artist
Adelaide
*As mentioned earlier Conversare will feature in the Adelaide Fringe festival in late February and early March 2013.
Recent Comments