Conversare – what attracts people to participate?

Conversare is for people who wish to open up their lives. People who recognise that these novel events are an intriguing way of doing this, whatever their stage of life.

What can happen when you come along to a social gathering for the specific purpose to converse, ie have conversation? Could it be that you come to have a deeper appreciation that:

. everyone present is a full participant.

. they are gatherings in which anyone who wishes to join is welcome.

. everyone is treated with respect by all present.

. the core activity is talking in pairs, over a meal, of persons who have not met previously.

Does this sound risky to you? While it might at first sight you no doubt appreciate that there is no possibility of leading a life of fulfilment and adventure without some risk taking! Having a look at what previous participants have reported may allay your fears. 🙂 See ‘Feedback‘ on this site.

As may the realisation that there is a host who provides guidelines on the nature of the event and how to make the most of the opportunity of being present.

What could ‘coming along having a go!’ mean for you? For could the world around you change once you become a more ‘interested’ spirit and step out more confidently, as outlined below?

Here are just some of the possible experiences you may have during an event, and what you may also take away:

Which of these may strike a chord in you?

.  An immediate feeling that this is a different and interesting way to get together. For you recognise that you are in a situation in which all present are welcome and included. And in which there is little judgment, no sense of there being ‘them and us’,  no matter who also has shown up.

.  Experience of wholesome connecting and having a highly enjoyable and satisfying time.

.  An opportunity to give of yourself without being concerned about what you are going to get from coming along.

.  A feeling of having the privilege of meeting with people purely for the joy of encounters with others who also represent humanity.

.  Being reminded that face-to-face conversation is the most enlivening and enriching way of connecting with others. And a nice change from communicating with a little screen in front of your face and a little plug in your ear! And no multitasking going on …

.  Something very tangible to reflect on afterwards and to start to implement in your own life. Also to share with others and perhaps invite one or more of these to come along to another event. 

.  A memory of enjoyable talking in greater depth than usual, in this instance with a stranger, as well as with others present.

.  Recognition that engaging with a stranger requires a different way of talking than with someone already known, as there are no memories of joint experiences to draw on.

.  The joy of an encounter with an unknown person, from whose stories there is learning about ‘the other’ and also about ‘oneself’ plus recognition of much in common.

.  An opportunity to engage with people who may have different ethnicities, origins, interests, aspirations … People who in the course of your usual life you would not likely ever meet.

.  Enhanced awareness of what conversation is and why careful listening and careful questioning are so central to relating well with others. (Many people have little education in this art and little appreciation that it requires constant vigilance and constant practice to become and remain skilled). 

.  Determination to ‘ginger up’ your people skills and to put these into practice with family members, friends, colleagues, neighbours, persons sitting next to you in a bus or plane …

.  The ability to recognise who are skilled conversationalists and what they do that indicates this.

.  Greater appreciation of what happens when people treat each other with respect – and when they don’t.

.  A reduced fear and anxiety about meeting new people.

.  The knowing that if you subsequently happen to meet any of the people who were at the same event you will have a warm encounter.

(Said a participant: “A few weeks after that meeting I still remember the people there fondly and I know that if I happen to meet them again in different circumstances  I will be genuinely happy to see them.”)

Does participating in a Conversare event provide an insight into what happens when we treat each other with respect rather than judgmentally?

And does it occur to those of you who have skills as hosts/facilitators that staging this kind of event where you live – in public places such as cafes, community centres, hotels – could be something that you could do?

For potentially widespread mutual satisfaction. <smile>

Looking forward

Al  

Al (formerly Alan) Stewart, PhD
Process Artist 
Facilitator of conversations that matter and participatory fun

Senior Fulbright Scholar

Blog:  www.conversare.net

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/ConversareSA/

Member:  American Society for Cybernetics

Member: National Trouble Makers Union <smile>

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Be yourself. And be it well.