Conversare – moving right along with thoughts and ideas on the value of talking with strangers
Hi there,
As mentioned previously plans are underway to bring this means of interacting ie ‘to turn or to dance together with a stranger’ online.
With the addition of a website, now in development. Through which people already interested in the process – or being alerted to it by others – can have ready access
to this new way of interacting with others.
Which is, in essence, an opportunity to engage in conversation with someone not ever met previously about how they experience life.
(As an aside, I had a birthday party recently at a local restaurant at which until the day before was to be limited to 16 people. The changed ‘lockdown’ rules meant that we could have 24 people present.
The start of this event was all being invited to converse with someone who they had not met previously, in pairs, to share their experience of being limited to staying home much of the time over the last few months.
Which likely helped set a lively mood for the remainder of the event).
I wonder if what you read now resonates with you as an instance of setting the tone and the spirit of encounters among people not known to each other?
For would you agree that engaging well with strangers seldom happens in everyday life?
While there is much evidence to suggest that the lives of those who do this could be substantially ‘uplifted’. And that the time to start doing this in these early post-pandemic times is NOW.
For could this be a contribution to WE – ie humanity as a whole – coming to see and do that ‘We are in this together and to treat each other well’?
Here are a few items which may delight you and inspire you about this idea:
. Let’s Talk https://medium.com/@sohailzindani/lets-talk-70caa68f9481
. Learning to talk again https://mailchi.mp/theschooloflife.com/learning-to-talk-again-61416?e=a695eb6171
. We’re recovering the lost art of listening https://urbanconfessional.org/join
. Techniques for talking to strangers https://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/497309/how-to-meet-strangers/
And here are thoughts on loneliness to ‘muse’ on!
https://stand.uow.edu.au/loneliness-in-the-digital-age/
Also from an invited address which I gave to students in health services in Indonesia some time ago:
“And here’s what may surprise you! People are invariably delighted when someone speaks to them. How much pleasure you will receive once you realise this. Making it a practice of initiating conversations while being a student could bring you infinite satisfaction for the rest of your life. For some of us older people it took a lot longer to become aware of this truism.”
Why is talking with strangers important?
I would say that there are two main answers to this question. The first applies to your personal growth and development – and delight!
Just think of the wonderful gift it is to engage with others confidently. For the rewards are often more than you could imagine. This always happens when your talking with strangers is all about being interested and curious about the people you meet with a feeling that is genuine and real. It’s how people make friends; it’s how people fall in love. It’s how strangers stop being strangers!
The second reason I suggest for learning how to talk well with individual strangers is that this gives you insight – and awareness – into the latent wisdom in everybody.
Which may be summed up in these three ways as:
- What makes us human? By British journalist George Monbiot
(https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05zwvbg)
Most of us have a strong belief about our own species. Human beings are fundamentally selfish and greedy. I mean it’s obvious isn’t it? Just watch the news and see how our politicians and business leaders behave. Selfishness and greed are, unfortunately, what human beings are all about.
But weirdly the science tells us nothing of the kind. Study after study, experiment after experiments tells as that while we have some selfishness in us these are not our dominant values.
In the great majority of people empathy, kindness, community spirit are all stronger values.
- What attracts us most in life? Would you agree that it is other people? William H. Whyte (poet)
3. “The key to greater success and happiness in life is simple – make new friends, develop new contacts, help others and let others help you. Without better people skills we all get stuck where we are.”
Peter Murphy
I wonder how what you have seen above ‘turns you on’?
As may also this question:
Could it be that talking online to a stranger – given that participants are paired with someone they have not encountered before and so have not pre-judged who they are – open up a new way for you to relate to others?
To conclude for now. Here’s another item which may also turn you on, albeit that you may regard it as ‘rather philosophical’. It’s by a person with whom I have had a fine personal connection.
https://www.pangaro.com/published/cyb-and-con.html
I would be delighted to receive your comments on your feelings to do with what you have read here. Send to alan@multimindsolutions.com
Looking forward.
Al
Al (formerly Alan) Stewart, PhD
Process Artist
Facilitator of conversations that matter and participatory fun
Senior Fulbright Scholar at Stanford Medical School
Blog: www.conversare.net
Mob: +61(0)413848680
Member: American Society for Cybernetics
Member: National Trouble Makers Union <smile>
Residence: Adelaide, South Australia, since 1975
With time away in the USA (1981) and Hong Kong (2005-2011)
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“We are in this together to treat each other well. Whenever we do this good things happen.”
Al Stewart
Be yourself. And be it well.
.
c
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