Conversare – a remarkable opportunity to meet strangers in a way that adds sparkle to life

This post is about connecting with each other at social gatherings in a public place.  In which anyone who chooses to come along is welcome. The core activity is having a meal with someone you have not met previously, a stranger. Everybody present does this, all present participate fully.

How does this sound to you? Interesting? Attractive? Many previous participants have reported these. See Feedback

But what about ‘Scary??’ If this prospect frightens you see below for a way that could change this feeling – and bring you enormous benefits.

How you feel about this will likely depend on how you view your own circumstances. If you have a lively social life with friends, family, colleagues which fulfils your wants for personal contact then it may not interest you particularly.

Could it be, however, that whatever your circumstances, you like the idea of meeting new people. For doing this can help you to hear about – and be fascinated by – others’ ways of being that you could not have imagined! And be highly enjoyable.

Or if you feel more lonely than you would wish to be – everybody has feelings of loneliness at times – then what you notice here about connecting with others could really spark your interest.

 

For these friendly gatherings are likely different from any you have experienced previously.

Among their particular features are:

.  They are held in public places such as cafes, hotel lobbies … In this case in a place made available after regular business times, by arrangement with management.

.  Anyone who wishes is welcome to come along, no matter what your age, background, level of education…

.  A host  welcomes everyone and provide guidelines on the nature of the gathering. Which includes the thought that ‘We are here togive rather than get’.

.  The main activity is that participants, in pairs, share a meal time together.

.  The host invites you to choose your meal from the array available. And then find someone you have not met before to share the meal time together.

. During this time for conversation you engage with your meal partner to explore questions related to what attracted you to come to this event. And then whatever emerges about your respective backgrounds and interests.

After the two course meal there is opportunity to share some of you learnings with others – which may be about yourself! And of how you felt about this experience.

 

Does this still feel scary to you?  If it does and if you don’t want this feeling to direct your action – on non action! – here is a strategy which you could find helpful.  For could it be that not ‘stepping out and taking the initiative’ is what gives rise to feelings of loneliness? While it has been developed for use with young people, could it be just what older people  do too to change their mindsets about interacting with others?

I refer to ‘triangle breathing’ a technique used mainly for children at times that they feel anxious about school or other elements in their lives.  This helps them to pay attention to what they need to be doing. It was developed by Prof Lea Waters at Melbourne University.

You may find that her simple breathing technique is one well worth your using and practising. Particularly in regard to overcoming your fear of taking the initiative in having conversations with people you dont know. Could doing this be a key to gaining confidence in joining in activities and groups which appeal to you – and in which you would be most welcome?

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If you don’t have access to a means to read this link above,  what about asking a friend or neighbour to help you to do so?

For could practising this technique  help boost your confidence in taking action to meet and mix with people? And help you to appreciate that paying full attention to the person you are talking to is the starting point for making a real connection.

One such lovely opportunity to do so,  if you live in Adelaide, would be to come to participate in a Converare event.  At present – and due to commence again –  in the Adelaide Central Market. From 6 to 8pm on a weekday night when the Market is closed – only open for business on Friday nights.

For dates of forthcomimg events and for bookings look here at the end of the first week of November 2018.

Looking forward

Al  

Al (formerly Alan) Stewart, PhD
Social Artist/Professional Conversationalist
Facilitator of conversations that matter and participatory fun
Blog:  www.conversare.net
Web:  Multimind Solutions
Mob:  +61(0)413848680

Book (Kindle):  Time to converse – at the heart of human warmth
Comments  on this book

“Whenever we treat each other well good things happen.”
Al Stewart