Conversare – coming up online soon

In my most recent post I mentioned the possibility of having Conversare kind of connecting online.

For the essence of this novel form of socialising is one to one (1:1) conversations in pairs of participants who have not previously met – strangers.  Until now ‘in person’ in public places such as restaurants, cafes, hotels and community centres.

Briefly, I invented this new social process while living happily in Hong Kong for six years from 2005.

Where I switched my focus as a highly-skilled host of conversations within organisations to enable them to address complex issues constructively. Using group processes such as Open Space Technology and the World Café.

To hosting social events in which the essence is that participants address each other.

Conversare, named from the  Latin con versare – to turn or to dance together is a special kind of social gathering. In which everyone present has conversations, in pairs, with someone they do not know – a stranger.   And has been practised in diverse places and countries since its inception just over a decade ago.

In which the kinds of questions which participants may ask of each other are: What has attracted you to be here? Who are you? What gives you joy in life? What gives you grief?

The paired conversations last for about an hour. Followed by a brief ‘coming together’ of the whole group. In which anyone who wishes may offer a brief account of what they experienced from talking to their mealtime partner.

 

Feedback from people in Hong Kong who did this – on numerous occasions –  was most enthusiastic, with many coming back time and again for more!  As was that of participants in events held in diverse other places, among which have been in Adelaide – where I now live. And in London, England; Padang in West Sumatra, Indonesia. Also several in the US. For some of these latter see Conversare in America.

Among comments about their experience as a participant are:

. “What I experienced is simple and deep, a spiritual adventure.”

. “great concept indeed … think you just hit it right at bull’s eyes … long wished for in the recess of our minds but not quite realized or voiced! great going … !”

. “Conversare provides an exceptionally simple approach for the return to glory of community trust and connectivity. For me, I arrived not knowing what to expect and I left feeling connected and supported by good people and great conversation.”

 

Now, likely for the first time in history, is the gift of having face to face (F2F) conversations, in pairs, who can see – and only – each other. Among people who may be located anywhere in our little planet.

For this is a way that is becoming more widespread, partly arising from greatly changed ways of interacting with others arising from measures to minimise the harmful consequences of the coronavirus. And associated with this,  increasing ways to connect with others by means of technologies which make it possible to do this online.

 

How does this resonate with you? <smile>

It has not, as you may appreciate, ‘just happened’. By this I mean that it has taken me ‘some time’ wondering if it is technologically possible to have pairs of participants, located in ‘far-flung’ places, to see each other while conversing.

I am delighted to let you know – from people who are expert on such matters –  that IT IS!

Which means, in practice, that Conversare online will take this form:

. Each event will be offered at particular times of the day to suit people in different time zones.

. People who wish to participate need to first download the Zoom app onto their computer, mobile phone or tablet. Then they can register for an event for one, details of which will be in circulated invitations.

Shortly before the appointed time, they can join the meeting by either clicking on a link that has been emailed to them, or by entering the meeting ID and password. They will initially be kept in a ‘waiting room’

. Once its time for the session to begin all will be admitted.

. To be welcomed by the host who will outline the process by which you and everyone else participates. And mentions briefly some fundamental ideas about what conversation is and does. Among which is that ‘Our conversations shape who we become. We grow as we notice, participate, and flow together.’

. Here is the ‘clincher’ – meaning the core ‘happening’ of the event. This is that all comers are allocated – at random by the computer – into pairs. In order for everyone to spend in conversation 1:1 with their ‘allotted partner’.

Given that there may be tens or even hundreds of participants, resident in ‘far-flung places’, its virtually certain that you will be partnered by someone who you have not previously met, or known of. And most likely will not ever again.

And so the essence of your experience is to get to know something about your ‘one-off’ partner. Particularly, as outlined above, to enquire:

. What attracted you to participate in this? Who are you? What distresses you in your life? And what gives you joy?  Also now, naturally,  what do you feel about the changes
brought to your – and perhaps also – others’ lives by the Covid-19 pandemic.

               In essence,  at the core of what everyone in the event may come to ‘see’, is their common humanity.

The time allocated to these paired conversations is about an hour.  They will not be recorded and so each will be totally private.

After which, as mentioned above,  all participants are brought back into the main ‘room’.  Where there is opportunity to relate feedback on personal experience and/or ask questions. This likely lasts for about 20 minutes. Anyone here is welcome to stay in this for as long as they wish. There will be a charge to participate. On a sliding scale from US $20  to $5 depending on your means.

Do you appreciate that:

. the opportunity to have this kind of meeting in pairs is a great gift. Likely one you have not ever had previously. Likely too to be interesting, illuminating and enjoyable.

.  your main roles are to listen carefully to indicate your interest in what your partner says. Recognising that you may be hearing about aspects of life that you have not ever imagined. And possibly that those could be of great value to you later in diverse ways.

. And to notice, from seeing the expressions on the face – and from her/his ‘demeanour – how your conversing companion is feeling about engaging in this way with you.

And to speak.  When you do this you are careful that it’s in a way that respects what you sense is relevant and important to your partner.  Perhaps to empathise with what you have heard. Particularly
not to express judgment. Nor to be boastful about what you think and feel about elements of your own way of living.

Bearing in mind something you ‘know’ from your experience:

                                                                     We are in this to treat each other well. Whenever we do this something good happens

There will be a charge to participate, ranging from $US 20 to 5, depending on your means.

 

To conclude for now:

Invitations for the first Conversare online will be sent out widely in the near future.

If you wish to be included in this please indicate this in the

If you have questions about what you have seen here please do this too.

Looking forward.

Go well

 

Al (formerly Alan) Stewart, PhD
Process Artist
Facilitator of conversations that matter and participatory fun

Senior Fulbright Scholar

Blog:  www.conversare.net

Member:  American Society for Cybernetics

Member: National Trouble Makers Union     <smile>

Residence: Adelaide, South Australia, since 1975
With time away in the USA (1981) and Hong Kong (2005-2011)  

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“We are in this together to treat each other well.
Whenever we do this good things happen.”
Al Stewart