Contexts in which the art of conversation flourishes

Have you had the experience of going to social events such as birthday and housewarming parties and finding that people hived off into little nooks and seemingly only mixed with those they already knew? Or when you did get to meet someone new to you this person asked no questions nor expressed any curiosity about ‘who are you?’

You are not alone! And so we go home with the sense that the event was ‘OK’ yet could have been better.  ‘If only’ everyone present understood and appreciated that ‘giving of themselves’ contributes greatly to the success of any social event.

Conversare gatherings are designed to promote such input from all present, and from which participants leave with a feeling of “That was a most gratifying and enjoyable experience.”

This happens through there being several features which are unique to this way of getting together:

. The main purpose is to enable participants to have lively conversations – to converse – for the pleasure and satisfaction this brings. People who come along appreciate that their giving of themselves contributes to this.

. They are held in public places such as cafes, restaurants, hotels, pubs, community centres in local neigbourhoods – hospitable places which are easily accessible and in which everyone is equal.

. There is a host who is skilled at providing ‘light touch’ guidelines on the nature of the event which ensure that everyone feels welcome, included and ready to give of themselves. Hosts are people who greatly enjoy promoting this kind of interacting.  Have you ever experienced someone doing this in your local café?

. The ‘starting points’ are ‘Whoever comes are the right people’ and ‘Whenever we treat each other well good things happen.’

. The central activity of an event is participants engaging in pairs over a meal or other refreshment. All present do this, which means that everyone is fully included.

. There may be a ‘wrap’ at the end  in which participants are invited to share their observations and experience of the event. It was at one such, in West Sumatra, Indonesia, that a person commented – in a state of high animation!

               “This is simple and deep – a spiritual adventure.”

 

As you would likely intuit, there is a great deal of background which underlies each of these elements of an event, a fascinating story of how this format came into being – and remarkable implications for what it could mean for community health once it is put into practice on a substantial scale. Which is ‘on the wind’ here in Adelaide in South Australia!

One of these underpinnings is the content of a booklet I have produced entitled Time to converse – at the heart of human warmth.

About which a person who is a life coach commented recently:

“Thanks Alan for this delightful little book that is so easy to read, I love the quotes throughout. I often hear how we are losing the art of conversation and your book points out so beautifully the gains from conversing. It inspires me to converse more!”

See: http://newlifeparties.com/2012/02/27/are-we-losing-the-art-of-conversation/

Lexia Cherry. South Australia

The answer to Lexia’s rhetorical question is a resounding ‘No!’ – once the purpose for doing this is clear and the right context is co-created.

Is this your feeling? Would you wish to have more opportunity to converse – or know people who would appreciate this – no matter who you are and whatever your experience of life?

Watch this space for developments coming your way, wherever you are on this little planet, 3^rd from the sun. While they may take a little time to reach you they will arrive! <smile>

I wonder how this sounds to you?

Alan Stewart
Adelaide

PS Notice a difference in the graphic? Per kind favour of Cate FoleyBurke in Tasmania.

Do you sense that it depicts the vibrancy which is evident whenever people engage richly in pairs knowing that everyone else present is doing the same?

Says a friend in Seattle: “I like the graphic–the duos face to face talking is more specific than some of your earlier graphics, and the lines and colors capture the movement and energy of deep conversation.”
Joelle Lyons Everett