Underpinnings of the Conversare project

Perhaps what crystallized the idea of having Conversare gatherings – although the notion had been percolating away for some time – was my noticing two items about ‘disconnectedness’.

The first was seeing this obituary notice in Time Magazine of 29 Dec 2008:

David Foster Wallace (1962-2008) “One of the presiding literary lights of his generation, Wallace anatomized the problems of 21C existence in intelligent, achingly funny novels, stories and essays. His subject was the existential distance that separates people from one another – a distance he spent his life trying to bridge with words”.

(The ‘bold’ above is my emphasis. Plus to add that David tragically hanged himself, following reportedly a long period of depression).

The second was reading what a person called Joanna Macy wrote:

… and the disconnection among people.

as another way of expressing ‘lack of spiritual fulfillment’.

Both of these struck a deep chord in me.

Not long after seeing the above these two reviews of books published last year came to my attention.

‘The Lonely American’

http://www.utne.com/Spirituality/Reconnect-Technology-Society-Lonely-American.aspx

Excerpt

“Americans in the 21st century devote more technology to staying connected than any society in history, yet somehow the devices fail us: Studies show that we feel increasingly alone. Our lives are spent in a tug-of-war between conflicting desires—we want to stay connected, and we want to be free. We lurch back and forth, reaching for both. How much of one should we give up in order to have more of the other? How do we know when we’ve got it right? Two recent studies suggest that our society is in the midst of a dramatic and progressive slide toward disconnection …”

2. ‘The Art of a Lively Conversation
http://www.utne.com/Spirituality/The-Art-of-a-Lively-Conversation.aspx

Excerpt slightly adapted:

“We should be more demanding of our social lives. Rather than seeing a successful encounter as a rare gift, we should expect to engineer one regularly. The history of conversation suggests that it’s when there are rules around that our spirit can best be set free. We might be tempted to giggle at the artificiality of a conversation menu or the pretentiousness of [some] dinner parties—and yet we should welcome them for helping us get to the elusive, spontaneous, and sincere bits of ourselves.”

With these underpinnings in mind participants have been experimenting with ways of people coming together in a public place to treat each other with respect and in which those present are free to participate to the extent that they wish.

While having a host to facilitate free flowing conversing and associated fun activities.

On the premise that these could make for enlivening and enriching experiencing.

And they have!

Regular participants say:

“I enjoyed the quote about the need to be ‘…more demanding of our social lives’ and not simply default to fate BUT pro-actively “…engineer social and conversational opportunities to enrich our lives’. Your facilitated gathering at Cafe Zambra is one such engineering tool.

The idea of meeting in public forums which challenges the social ‘status quo’ – through inclusive gatherings of people from all walks of life – is a super idea. Similar to the ‘Toast Master’s’ speech club where intellectual free thought and opinion are ‘facilitated’ or ‘guided’ by a moderator…this concept offers a refreshing alternative to the tired ‘pub scene’… “

Gary Knight

“I can say that I have found the process very enjoyable, an oasis in such a bustling city and an opportunity for people to very clearly enjoy the interaction. We need more of this especially for expats to connect well with local HK people.”

Carmen Liddane