Several p’s which underpin Conversare

Among the key components which make up just what Conversare is and why it is turning out to be of substantial significance in diverse areas are:

Participate

In these gatherings this is what all present do. They enter into the spirit of the
gathering by giving of themselves to all present and especially to the ‘stranger’ with whom they will have an in-depth conversation.

As you would likely appreciate this is quite different from what happens in many social, particularly ‘networking’, events in which people ‘work the room’ and often stick with the same person or small group throughout.

In fact all that the host invites people to do is “Give of yourself.” With the thought that whoever it is who decide to engage with each other will be people whose accounts of elements of their lives will inevitably be fascinating when listened to carefully and non judgmentally.

“I must admit I approached conversare with some trepidation as i am not
the touchy feely type and I wasn’t sure what or who to expect but i
thoroughly enjoyed myself. The ambiance was warm and friendly, totally
non threatening. I didn’t feel anything was expected of me other to than to
be there and enjoy myself. All the people there were people I wanted to
meet and talk to and it was so interesting sitting with someone completely
new ,who led a totally different life style in Hong Kong. Thank you for a
lovely evening.”
Annemarie Bailey

Process

This component is to do with the means by which all present consciously commit to participate in the knowing that ‘we are in this together’ and we do everyone here a favour when we contribute to the spirit of the event by being curious, interested, playful, joyful and risk taking.

This happens through there being a host whose role it is to ensure that all present feel welcome, included and ready to contribute to the success of the event. The host co-creates a context in which participants engage with each other richly.

Party

While an integral part of these events is a focus on one person over a meal this happens in the company of others who are doing something similar. And there is a lively, enjoyable social dimension to the whole gathering as there is also opportunity to mix informally with others before and after the shared meal.

In effect the host may be thought of as the ‘ambience director’, the person who helps set the atmosphere of the gathering in which people feel they are at a party!

“I sensed a wonderfully positive energy from the moment I entered [the venue] and very much enjoyed the connectivity of the evening. I felt we could have mixed and matched socially in any permutation in such a comfortable atmosphere.”
Eileen Reid

Place

Where such gatherings are held is important for diverse reasons, as you would suspect.

For a start it needs to be a ‘hospitable’ place. As people enter they need to have a sense  that they are in a space which is comfortable and cheerful, and in which they feel they can mix freely with others.

And there needs to be food served. Which can be simple and inexpensive when this is a factor for those coming.

Choice of venue then is an import consideration for whoever is organizing an event. In Hong Kong we experimented with several venues including a restaurant, a pub, a community centre and a café. These had their pros and cons, which included ease of access for those who were most likely to show up.

The particular community centre chosen was very suitable in regard to being spacious, private and quiet. It had the apparent disadvantage of there having to be food brought in. Initially it took time to find a suitable caterer. Once this person ‘popped up’ the problem disappeared as the food delivered was excellent.

One factor which was a more substantial disadvantage was that this community centre was not easily accessed by people coming from other parts of the city.

This would not be a difficulty once recognition dawns that Conversare lends itself nicely to becoming an integral feature of a geographically localised community. For it is a means by which people get to know others in their neighbourhoods and through which a community spirit is developed and enhanced.

Presence

What is important in the conduct of a gathering is that people feel as present as possible. There are innumerable potential detractors to this such as feelings of guilt or anxiety related to ‘I should be doing something else.’

While the host has a role in enabling people to feel ‘in the moment’, it is everyone’s  responsibility to put distracting thoughts aside and concentrate on the matters at hand.

Knowing that this is the foundation from which participants give of themselves. Knowing too that a particular event will only happen once in human history. Never again will this group be assembled together and so ‘let’s make the most of our opportunity.’

I wonder if this account of ‘happenings’ in this kind of socialising and their foundations helps you to recognise how such an approach may be used to good effect in your neighbourhood or in particular situations?

 

Alan Stewart
Adelaide