Report on a recent Conversare event

A friend from Seattle wrote just before our recent event on 15 Oct 2010:

Have a wonderful Conversare with whoever shows up, knowing that they will be the right people. I was on a conference call which I facilitated two weeks ago. The three of us on the call shared good reflections and were ready to sign off early when another caller joined us–a very upset woman who really needed someone to talk with. We were very glad we had not hung up the phone.

You just never know when what you offer may be exactly what someone else needs!

Joelle
To which I responded:

Dear Joelle

We had one of the best nights ever, with a small group. What validation of your sentiments …

The staff member on duty said when she came at the end to help put the room back in ‘dance studio’ shape:

‘Whenever I walked past the room I could hear the sound of laughter.’

There was plenty of this. Plus ‘deep and meaningful’ issues which popped out at different stages, particularly when I invited the pairs who had had dinner together – very fine food – to share ‘something that you had initiated which turned out well.’ Having done this to share with the whole group what had resonated in the listener in each instance.

Astonishing stories were shared between strangers in this public place. And what seeming affirmation the tellers received from the opportunity to express what was dear to them, followed by everyone present hearing what a listener had discerned from the telling.

Talking this over with my wife Carmen we concluded that we have not ever had such an experience elsewhere. A friend who I mentioned this to said the nearest he had experienced was when sitting next to a stranger on a long flight.

One of the participants was a Chinese lady aged about 50. She said that this was the first time she had socialised for many years. A friend who had been a couple of times had encouraged to do this. In the exchange outlined above she told of studying Chinese medicine for 10 years to become a healer. She had not put this into practice as she had a job as a bureaucrat in a large organisation which she did not enjoy [but seemingly was not ready to leave, yet. My comment added].

Was what was on offer what she needed?

Here are several items which were on display on a wall and which I invited the group to look at early on in the gathering. They may be thought of in relation to:

There is no direct answer to the question of what creates the ambience of a Conversare gathering but, indirectly, these items may influence the energy in the room.

Watch how a conversation between two strangers can turn into a magnificent sharing of personal stories that matter.
— Lisa Evans

. . . the great and incalculable grace of love, which says, with Augustine, “I want you to be,” without being able to give any particular reason for such supreme and unsurpassable affirmation.
— Hannah Arendt

. You are most welcome here

. You are a worthy person

. There is nothing to do

From a presentation I experienced on the Hakomi method (The Power of Loving Presence) in 1995. Everyone who comes into our lives has a gift to give us; we do well to know this and to look out for it continuously. This is ‘mindfullness’.
http://www.hakomiinstitute.com/

Regarding this last one I emphasised points made by Suzanne in her comment: “There is nothing to do, no problem to address, no strategy to develop …”

All that is asked of you – the right people to be here – is that you give of yourselves.

There is more happening and ‘learning’ emerging than I and others could remotely have imagined.

I wonder if there is anything you notice in this report which resonates with your experience of engaging with people you don’t know?

And if you have ideas on how to promote close connecting between people who may not have met previously?

Alan Stewart