Open up your life through initiating conversation – a radio interview on 16 Nov 2010

This may appeal to you. I was interviewed recently for a new internet radio by  Danny Moorjani, the brilliant person who got it going. This was a rare treat and pleasure.

(It can be heard world wide at www.dbayradio.com See below for broadcast  time of the interview).

This is about Conversare events happening in Hong Kong on 19 Nov 2010 – and beyond.  For bookings see opposite.

Which is likely to be ‘rare treat and a pleasure’ for those who come
along. <smile>

Knowing that this ‘good fun’, light-hearted, non- threatening, non-status, very respectful way of socialising is to do with relating better  to people we already know and to relating well to new people.  Could there be surprising outcomes from being a participant in the friendly and open environment?

Listening in will reveal what goes on in Conversare events and what to take note of, among which are:

. Judgments we make whenever we meet someone new.  We tend to have deeply ingrained ways of categorising people – often not based on
respect – usually without even knowing it.

While this seemingly suits our purposes it also greatly limits the possibilities of our seeing beyond our own projections about people and why we may enter into conversation with them.

“Unfortunately all of us unknowingly limit our experience because we develop patterns of constructing and interpreting conversations in familiar ways. These limitations are reflected in who we imagine ourselves and others to be. Also in our beliefs about our choices and possibilities for what we can and cannot do, to whom we can and cannot relate, and how much passion and desire we do or do not feel.”
Source unknown

In a Conversare event everybody present has potentially fascinating stories to relate and is a keen listener for yours. Not least as there is a mix with people of different nationalities and backgrounds and businesses.  And so there is much intrinsic interest in learning about fellow participants without the thought of ‘can this (or these) people be useful to me?’ As you may appreciate, this is not networking! For the most part you may not ever meet them again – but if you do you will have a nice basis on which to communicate.

. We do well to remind ourselves that ”though our lives are small and our acts seem insignificant, we are generative elements of this universe, and we create meaning with each act that we perform or fail to perform. In this context, even a smile can be a saving grace for a person who is drowning in a sea of troubles.”
Kent Nerburn

. What is the most effective ‘generative act’ we can perform?  I put it to you that this is ‘to initiate conversation.’

Why may this be?

Among possibilities which you may find interesting and helpful:

. ‘Our conversations shapes who we become. We grow as we participate, initiate and flow, together.’ This happens throughout our lives.

Do you recall instances in which you initiated a conversation and what happened as an unexpectedly wholesome outcome?  Likely there will be numerous such instances which come to your mind.

How do you think this interview happened?  <smile>

. Happiness is the subject of every conversation we ever have: the search for happiness, the envy of happiness, the loss of happiness, the guilt about undeserved happiness, the expression of happiness.

While it is usually our own happiness we are hoping to enhance <smile> what if it is other people’s? How much happiness do you generate when you spend time in listening to your partner, children, friends, colleagues, associates, strangers …?

This is what the Conversare experiment is about – to experience through doing these things to come to know the impact of careful listening and questioning.

Plus the realisation that there are valuable skills to be learned to do this in the wider world.

And to go away feeling highly exhilarated…

Oh yes, the broadcast time on www.dbayradio.com is 21.00 hrs in Hong Kong (13.00 GMT, 08.00 EST, 05.00 PST on Tues 16 Nov 2010)

Do please add your comment(s) here about what you felt from listening in and perhaps what you see as the potential significance of this experiment.

Go well

Alan Stewart

“great concept indeed … think you just hit it right at bull’s eyes … long wished for in the recess of our minds but not quite realized or voiced! great going alan … !”
Velda K

Friday drinks would usually be with people with very similar ways of thinking  which is cozy but doesn’t require any effort to extend myself mentally or emotionally, whereas at this gathering, I came across people with a completely different way of viewing the world – very demanding but very rewarding.
Andrew L