Conversare – places and process

For what Conversare is see here.

 

Here are two components of Conversare events which you may find interesting and wish to explore.

These are the places in which they are held and the essence of the way in which participants engage with each other.

 

The places

At first glance they do not have an appearance of anything unusual. And yet they may be considered as something special. For among their characteristics is that they are public places, on neutral ground which means that anybody who comes to them is welcome. Another element is that in them people interact well with each other.

Venues in which this happens may be called Third Places. This idea was coined by a sociologist, Ray Oldenburg  in his book ‘The Great Good Place’. Oldenburg calls one’s “first place” the home and those that one lives with. The “second place” is the workplace or place for education — where people may actually spend most of their time. Third places, then, are ‘anchors’ of community life and facilitate and foster broader, more creative interaction.

The Adelaide Central Market after trading hours on weekday nights is now a Third Place in that it is being used specifically for participants to engage respectfully with everyone present, in conversation over a meal.

“I also think that the Conversare idea is one of those ideas fitting with my sense that we need to recapture public spaces for good relating… we have been systematically losing public spaces and time together spending in them (which, after all, makes them ‘public’!) and leaving it to the ‘developers’ to ‘develop’ them in enclosed ‘private’ spaces which are, of course, immediately filled with the ‘public’ messages from our screens and social media connections… “
Adj Prof Jacques Boulet – Co-Founder Borderlands Cooperative

Likely you would understand that shopping malls are not Third Places.

 

The process

By this I mean that there is a host who welcomes all present and invites them to consider the question “Are we here to give or to get?”

“Show up and choose to be present.” Being present allows us to access the human resources of power, presence and communication.
From: The Four-Fold Way. Angeles Arrien

Which leads on to the main underpinning of a Conversare gathering, being  curious about the others present and particularly about the person – a stranger – with whom each will share their meal.

And means in practice that the main activity is to listen carefully to what they hear in response to the questions they pose.

As you may appreciate this requires a somewhat ‘unusual’ kind of interaction. For most of us are not particularly good at listening!

Is this a fair comment?

“Deep listening is an art which is quickly disappearing. In this technologic world of rapid-fire communication, immediate quick responses are valued and the ability to not respond is no longer taught. Although listening seems like such a simple act, it requires us to actually be present and not be distracted by thinking of our response. It requires patience and learning but the rewards are rich as this week’s stories help illustrate.”
Ameeta, Editor. http://www.kindspring.org/about/news/

Is face-to-face communication ‘old fashioned’ in comparison with modern use of social media through which to connect?

I suspect that your feelings about this question may be influenced by this comment <smile>:

“The mood [in the new pastry shop in my neighbourhood] among the customers was unusually good humoured. As I stood there, enjoying the pastry smells and the friendliness of the place, I felt that I had stepped into a generous little haven of old fashioned goodwill.”
From a radio interview with the author of ‘Love Song’, a novel by Australian writer Alex Miller

For the ‘mood’ in Conversare events, held in ‘Third Places’ in which participants treat each other well, is often reported to be similar to that expressed above.  See Feedback.

Would you wish to have such an experience?

Looking forward.

Go well

Alan

 

Alan Stewart, PhD
Social Artist
Facilitator of conversations that matter and participatory fun
Web: Multimind Solutions
Blog: Conversare

 

“Whenever we treat each other well good things happen.”