Conversare Ingredients Part 2

“Sometimes I ponder deeply about “Conversare” which is re-introducing the sheer joy of just being together to share, to laugh, to eat, to sing and to dance.  No chores, no big problems, no strategy, no planned outcomes — just lots of intimate togetherness from which compassion, friendship, love and community emerge…”

How’s that for a recent affirming statement to me from Suzanne who has previously added her comments on the blog.

And this comment from Mike:

“I loved the quote from Thoreau… “The greatest compliment that was ever paid to me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer” – Part of its charm for me was its simple narration of a life affirming moment and how it applied to “me” (ie him). I am grateful to the submitter for it – I also loved “Watch how a conversation between two strangers can turn into a magnificent sharing of personal stories that matter.”— Lisa Evans

There often comes a time when story telling becomes catalytic and is often joined by laughter. I love it when this happens – life at its best.

Let me offer you another quote “Words are, of course, the most powerful drugs used by mankind.” Rudyard Kipling

That was fun.”

Which bring me onto spelling out what happens in a Conversare gathering when the basics of venue and food have been nicely resolved.

The start

People arrive and mix informally. Some may have travelled ‘a far distance’ and are ready for a cup of tea or coffee. The facilities to do this need to be readily at hand.

When it is the right time to start the host invites everyone to join sitting in a circle. S/he welcomes participants, introduces the purpose and outlines briefly the program.  Each host will likely choose their own way of doing this.

Which may reflect their experience of previous events and/or bring in the kind of ideas expressed so poetically above.

Essentially the host indicates that here is an opportunity to relate closely and well to people who may not have ever met previously. And that this is a ‘one off’ event, never again will the particular group of people be assembled in this way.

Further, that everyone’s role is to give of themselves. In doing so, to learn a lot about at least one other person – and about themselves – while having much pleasure from participating.

With these thoughts in mind and being reminded of foundation principles (on display and expressed by the host) that:

. whoever comes are the right people

and

. whenever we treat each other well good things happen

set the scene in which people who may not know each other relate deeply.

At the most recent event I as the host also put on display:

“In conversation, we need to honor the legitimacy of the other person and the power that person can draw out of us.”
Michael Jones

For the next steps the participants are invited to walk around in the circle to make brief contact with everyone present. Towards the end of this, which takes a few minutes, find a person they have not previously met or do not know well and choose to have dinner with her or him.

With this question in the foreground: “I wonder what conversing with this fascinating stranger will bring forth?”

We have not got onto possible topics for the twosome conversations –yet. Not least is that it is ‘their show’ – they can talk about anything they like. With suggestions for later, coming up.

I wonder what you sense in what you have seen so far that could have wider application?

And what comes to your mind about possible obstacles to this happening?

Alan Stewart
Hong Kong