Conversare – about the experience and a reminder of the place, and joy, of respectful conversation in our daily lives

This blog, as readers will likely appreciate, is about how we interact with others in our daily lives matters – greatly! 

(See below for my book on this too).

With the focus here on events, called Conversare, which are to enable lively people to experience being in a hosted social gathering in which everyone present participates fully and feels well connected.

To gain a deeper sense of this have a look at ‘Choosing connection’ which spells out why this is important, in the moment and as a way of being.

And for comments on their experience of participating in Conversare events in Adelaide and in Hong Kong (where this new social process was conceived) see here.

Conversare events bring attention to the idea that how we converse – engage in conversation – makes a substantial difference to how well we communicate with others. And what a difference this makes in our lives and of the people with whom we interact.

This applies to people we already know – our family, friends, colleagues, neighbours – and also those which we don’t, strangers.

Our connecting may be ongoing or it may be fleeting.

Here is an story about the latter for you to enjoy:

It’s from a longstanding friend of mine, Joelle, who lives on the west coast of the USA.

“I appreciate the idea of conversation for its own sake and the sake of the bond it forms in the moment. And that it is important even though you and your conversation partner may never meet again.

Reminds me of a rainy afternoon in a town near where I live. I had finished my long list of errands, and stepped into my favourite cafe for a cup of coffee before heading home. As I climbed onto a high stool at the coffee bar, the spoon fell off my saucer and hit the floor. The man on the next stool picked it up, walked to the counter and brought me back a clean spoon.

We struck up a conversation and were soon deeply engaged, talking with some excitement, scribbling diagrams on a napkin. Finally he realised that he had been away from his business long enough. He stood up, introduced himself, mentioned his wife and family (who had moved here with him from Colombia), told me what his business was, and said, “We will probably never meet again. But someday you can tell your grandchildren, ‘One day I sat with someone in a coffee shop and really talked, talked about what was important.’

I loved that he recognised the importance of the moment, of the deep conversation. There was no hint of flirtation or salemanship, just the exhilarating exchange of ideas, values, feelings.”

And so now Joelle’s story will spread beyond the ears of her grandchildren!

How do you feel about this story? Have you had similar experiences?

Do you feel delighted by it? And does it remind you that:

. it’s the quality of our connecting – not the quantity – that bring joy and satisfaction to our lives.

. conversing (having conversations) is one main way of connecting well with people.

. bearing others’ wellbeing in mind is a key part of how we engage with them.

. conversing while considering the wellbeing of friends and others does not ‘just happen’; there are basic skills which underpin doing this well.

‘Sometimes the greatest adventure is simply a conversation’.
Amadeus Wolfe

With our family and friends:

. maintaining a fine connection requires thoughtful consideration from us whether they live near or far away.

. it’s the quality of our friendships – not the quantity – that bring joy and satisfaction to our lives.

 

To gain a sense of why coming along to participate in a Conversare event could be an enjoyable and high learning experience, see firstly, this excerpt from my previous post:

What is this novel experience?

To become aware of – and put into practice – the four components of communicating with your dinner partner at a Conversare event. Which are outlined by the host who invites all present to attend to consciously.

# 1. Give your dinner partner your full and undivided attention during your encounter.

#2. Be conscious that the main way in which you may learn how she or he sees life is … by asking question which indicate that you are greatly interested in hearing this.

#3. Listen carefully to what your partner says and also take note of the emotion(s) which underpin this. For by reflecting this, your partner will better appreciate that you have been listening with attention to what and why they were expressing particular things.

#4. When you do add your input to the conversation be careful not to ‘go on’ and dominate the encounter.

 

Be aware – that what you may learn about your dinner partner may greatly astonish you! For she or he may reveal things to you – joyful or not so – that you could not have imagined.

And be aware too that what you reveal to each is confidential to you both.

To add:

One of my books, entitled ‘Time to converse – at the heart of human warmth’ is now available as a kindle through Amazon. It was posted there until recently, then disappeared for a while, and is now back. But without the reviews which accompanied it originally.

Comments on the book from readers around our little planet can be seen here
Looking forward

Al (formerly Alan) Stewart, PhD
Social Artist
Facilitator of conversations that matter and participatory fun
Blog:  www.conversare.net
Web:  Multimind Solutions

Book (kindle):  Time to converse – at the heart of human warmth