Conversare – more to it than meets the eye

A look at some of the posts on this blog may help you to appreciate that socialising in this way may serve a range of ‘wholesome’ purposes. This recent one here and  Conversare in America may be illustrative, for starters.

What may you experience from being a participant? Very likely similar to that of people who have had the opportunity to do this in one or more events.

Among reports of this, as you can read, are the sheer joy of being in the company of like minded others in places in which whoever shows up is welcome.

And feeling thoroughly relaxed, with one proviso. That the role of everyone present is to be interested in others, to ask questions and not to talk about themselves exclusively!

What can happen in such a context? What do you notice?

People saying that they had not previously experienced being among ‘strangers’ and feeling so comfortable; quite ‘at home.’ People asking for such events to happen again.

What is surprising, to me, is that few ever say that they would wish to organise something similar. Curious, perhaps, in that there is little problem in setting up this kind of event if you have some experience as a facilitator and the will to do so.

Curious too is the seeming lack of recognition of:

. how much pleasure you can provide to others by arranging an event and letting people know of it.

. just how vital it is to have opportunities to engage periodically in rich conversation in which there is nothing to ‘do’ and nothing to ‘produce.’

. there are often ‘outcomes’ in the form of ongoing connections between people who had not previously met. These may be by arrangement at the time or when ‘bumping into’ later others who were present. For now you have instant rapport, as many have noted.

. the wide range of possibilities for engaging well when using this format  in community, education and business situations.

The benefits from this can be substantial, given that it is difficult to meet new people in a way that leads to ongoing relating. This could become more problematic in our lives characterised by feelings of ‘busyness’ and being overwhelmed by ever increasing distraction.

But perhaps the main benefit from being a participant is, on reflection, to come to a deeper understanding of what conversing is and what it’s significance can be – regardless of technological innovations!

Here is an exquisitely beautiful way of expressing this, in my opinion. The cartoon is by greatly admired and well loved in Australia and doubtless far and wide, Michael Leunig.

A new, substantially elaborated version of my book Time to converse – at the heart of human warmth is about the vital necessity to make time to engage in the conversations which underpin the possibilities as depicted in Michael’s cartoon. The book was printed during my recent visit in January 2014 to Hong Kong.  Among the key ideas in it are that ‘Whenever we treat each other well good things happen’ and that ‘The main way in which we do this with a person or persons is by conversing with them.’ At present the book is only available from two bookstores on Lantau Island in Hong Kong.  A means to order it online will be available soon.

I wonder if what I have brought to your attention in this post helps you to appreciate the magic which can be experienced when coming together to socialise in this way in public places?

Looking forward

Go well

Alan Stewart
Adelaide