Conversare – be prepared to be surprised, in experience and place

In the past few weeks I have mentioned to a number of people that there is a new venue in the offing for this kind of socialising in which the essence is to share a meal with a stranger in a public place.

The invariable response is “How fascinating! Please let me know when this happens.” And when I ask what appeals about this prospect responses include:

“I love the idea of meeting new people in a context in which it is quite safe to do so.”

“This way of meeting people could be so interesting.”

“I am new to Adelaide and this sounds to be a good way to meet people.”

“It’s high time that something like this is available. Reminds me of the 70s!”

Let me suggest there could be experiences which people who had not been to a Conversare event would likely not anticipate.

Among these are:

. Everyone present is a full participant. How often do you experience this when you are at a social gathering? I have frequently observed at events such as housewarming parties or networking evenings that some people do not have the confidence to mingle successfully, and so likely fee left out.

. For a social gathering to be successful in ensuring that everybody is a full contributor there has to be a host who is skilled in co-creating the context in which all feel welcome and included. Have you ever been to a social event in a public place such as a café or restaurant which is hosted?

. The purpose of getting together in these gatherings is not to catch up with friends, nor is there a focus on particular interests such as gardening or bird life. Nor is there entertainment provided by non-participants. Sound somewhat different to your usual experience?

. It does not matter who it is who you happen to share your meal with. Everyone has stories and experiences to tell that you could not have imagined. A friend told me that on one occasion his dinner partner happened to be a woman. After about ten minutes he thought he had summed her up – until she said that when she was a teenager her father joined a religious cult and left the family. She only saw him once again before he died, many years later. Think he was surprised?

At another kind of understanding of the nature of these conversational – to turn or to dance together – events how does this resonate with you?

“Dancing is surely the most basic and relevant of all forms of expression. Nothing else can so effectively give outward form to an inner experience. Poetry and music exist in time. Painting and architecture are a part of space. But only the dance lives at once in both space and time. In it the creator and the thing created, the artist and the expression, are one. Each participant is completely in the other. There could be no better metaphor for an understanding of the…cosmos.We begin to realize that our universe is in a sense brought into being by the participation of those involved in it. It is a dance, for participation is its organizing principle. This is the important new concept of quantum mechanics. It takes the place in our understanding of the old notion of observation, of watching without getting involved. Quantum theory says it can’t be done. That spectators can sit in their rigid row as long as they like, but there will never be a performance unless at least one of them takes part and conversely, that it needs only one participant, because that one is the essence of all people and the quintessence of the cosmos.”
Lyall Watson, Gifts of Unknown Things

Coming back down to earth! <smile>

A clue about the venue for the potential new venture allude to above. This is in a shopping centre! Imagine going to such a place after trading hours, to socialise. There are several cafes in this centre. They will take it in turns to provide the evening meals. Well, it is happening.

A couple of local cafes have got wind of this and said “We would be delighted if you would  consider us for this kind of event. Likely our regular customers would be curious – and surprised.”

Curious about the developments mentioned here? How do they appeal to you?

Alan Stewart, PhD
Adelaide

For more on background to these matters see the new 4th edition of my famous book Time to converse – at the heart of human warmth