About one element of magic associated with Conversare

There are several dimensions of Conversare gatherings which may be considered ‘magical.’ For the way in which all participants interact with each other is very different from that in more common kinds of socialising.

Let me put to you, as a start, that when we attend social gatherings such as a meal in a restaurant or a café it is usually only with people we already know. There may be some we don’t and, while we may wish to engage with these, seating arrangements and background noise often make this difficult.

With events such as cocktail parties, staff functions, public lectures and the like there is usually little opportunity to have meaningful conversations, primarily perhaps as they are not designed for this purpose. Social ‘niceties’ and ‘networking’ with people who may be of some advantage to us are not conducive to our appreciating that these could be occasions in which to have lively exchanges with people other than with whom we habitually get together.

In general would you agree that, when we socialise it is seldom with people we have not met previously? Nor do we set out with an intention to engage with interest and curiosity in strangers?

To come back, then, to how Conversare events are different and why this may be so, magically!

A main difference from our more accustomed ways of getting together is that, while participants mix informally with others who they may or may not have met previously, a central feature is the opportunity to engage richly with one person who is a stranger.

Those who ‘show up’ to an event are aware of this and so it is their intention to do this.

“I generally avoid cocktail parties and similar occasions because the conversation is usually so trivial and shallow that I don’t feel motivated to participate. At Conversare functions, my energy and wish to connect with people and to contribute just flowed without effort.”
Ian Robertson

This component of conversing in pairs means that everybody participates; nobody is left on their own wondering what to do!

“Thanks for organising it and invite me to come also! ” there is no stranger in this world”–  this phrase come to my mind after the gathering! In the metro and on the street we encounter lots of people who may have interesting to share and Conversare is a bridge for it! “
Rainbow Hui

Also, the intention of everyone present is that they will contribute to the success of the event, they will play their part to ensure that they act in the spirit underlying the gathering.

“I sensed a wonderfully positive energy from the moment I entered [the room] and very much enjoyed the connectivity of the evening. I felt we could have mixed and matched socially in any permutation in such a comfortable atmosphere.
Eileen Reid

A way of thinking about this ‘magical’ dimension

In the hands of a skilled magician we ‘see’ that there are there are things which we had not expected – and we attempt to explain our observations.

The usual explanation is something like this:

‘aha-these magicians try to direct my attention away, try to confuse my thinking so that I don’t observe what they are really doing.’

“In fact, the whole magic consists of inviting you to create a world of yourself, creating a new world in which there are ladies floating, in which an elephant is disappearing …

Magic is not a question of distracting you, of any kind of a gimmick, it  is the question of making you very attentive to a particular universe you are creating. … to come into a particular mindset in which you ‘see’ things which you have not seen before.”

These are the words of such a magician, the late Heinz von Foerster, who I had the great privilege of meeting twice, in person.

In our case here, ‘the magic’ is to enable participants in a Conversare gathering to have a different perspective of people from their usual.

If you happened to pass the people here assembled when in a shopping mall would you likely give them a second look, or stop and converse with them?

In this context participants will do both of these.  So why is there this difference?

To be continued <smile> when we look at the role of the host and how this person and all who happen to be present co-create the magic of treating each other well.

A clue:

We are very welcome.
We are persons of worth
There is nothing to do.

I wonder how this appeals to you?

Alan Stewart
Adelaide