Conversare as a way to co-create cultures of confidence

Are you aware that culture shapes the way we converse with each other? By culture is meant ‘the way we do things around here.’

What if the culture of our communities is based  squarely on self-confidence of those concerned?

Bearing in mind these foundations:

. The word Conversation derives from the Latin con versare – to turn or to dance together.

. Making time to converse is at the heart of human warmth.

. We are in this together and to treat each other well.

. Whoever comes are the right people.

. Interacting confidently can produce most unexpected gifts for all concerned.

Could being conscious of these underpinnings wherever we live or with whoever we associate help all of us to be more respectful, bold and skilful in our relating to each other? And in being so contribute to spreading the rhythm of creativity, camaraderie and community.

One way to enhance awareness of these matters is through Conversare style get togethers – events in which the core activity is having a meal with a stranger.

Here are possibilities for where and how doing this could make a substantial difference to how well particular communities function with regard to their purposes.

Shopping malls

A recent report indicates that, in the USA, they are dying. Part of the reason for this, I suggest, stems from the sad tale of Victor Gruen, the person who invented the idea of a shopping mall. His vision was such places would be for shopping and for congregating. He went from Vienna in Austria to the USA to promote this vision – and returned totally disillusioned by how the idea of places for community activities being integral to shopping malls had been totally dismissed.

I happen to know of a bold, visionary enterprise to do something about the astonishing oversight with regard to having such places. This arises from my being present at the opening of the transformation of one of these to become the first ever private enterprise community centre in the USA. This is Third Place Books in Seattle. I also had a small role in its taking on the mantle of the community oriented Third Place Commons.

This venture was created by Ron Sher, a bookseller – who I have met – who recognised that the greatest lack in urban life in the USA is places in which people can congregate to converse about things that matter.

Ron’s initiative has been widely supported by the residents in the area. For what has evolved since its beginnings in 1998 has reportedly made a huge difference to the quality of life in the local community – based squarely on the culture of confidence which now pervades this whole neighbourhood.

See the remarkable range of offerings – including Conversation Cafes – now available at ‘Third Place Commons’  http://thirdplacecommons.org/about/

Also http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/pacificnw/2003/1109/cover.html

Is there an idea here to be heard and acted upon by other shopping centres?

 

Hubs of Innovation

These are places which foster cultures based on the notion that ‘interacting creatively scales the ladder of genius.’ See, for example, Hub Australia, of which I am a founder member.

Could introducing conversare style social gatherings be a means to develop more widespread self- confidence to achieve such a purpose?

What could holding this kind of event periodically for members mean for them? Encounters filled with surprises? An opportunity to give of themselves by asking the kind of questions which indicate genuine interest in ‘the other’? A chance to practice their ‘people’ skills? Hearing of life experiences which they could not have imagined?

What invariably is reported by previous participants is that whenever you happen to run into your duo partner – or any of the others present at the event – you will have immediate spirited rapport.

Are such experiences integral to the development of self- confidence?

 

Neighbourhood social gatherings

My wife and I have recently moved to a new neighbourhood in Adelaide, South Australia. Part of the reason for doing this is that we had heard it was filled by ‘unpretentious, community minded spirits.’

Not long after we moved we were invited to the home of people who are longstanding friends. At this emerged the idea of having gatherings about once per month for music, storytelling and similar kind of activities.

What has also been considered integral to such events is that the first 15-20 minutes be allocated to conversing, in pairs among people who have not previously met each other.

Could this add lively, interesting and fun dimensions to these get togethers of local people?

 

Looking at the three kind of contexts for conversing outlined here do you consider such experiences could foster more boldness and risk taking in who and how we relate to each other?

Does this matter at every level of society from international to ‘over the fence’ neighbour on our precious little planet, 3^rd from the sun??

 

Alan Stewart, PhD
Adelaide

For more on background to these matters see the new 4th edition of my famous little book Time to converse – at the heart of human warmth